S*x should be a satisfying part of a marriage. But for some couples, common s*x problems become a source of tension and arguments. The truth is, both men and women tend to complain about the same things when it comes to s*x, particularly when they’re in a long-term relationship. Here are some of the most common complaints along with suggestions to turn a partner’s frown upside down.
One of you wants more s*x.
Problem – Having different libidos is a common s*x problem and one that most couples face. Usually, one of you wants more s*x than the other. Perhaps, you even argue about the number of times per week you are or should be having s*x.
Solution – This is an easy fix that requires a bit of compromise by both people. Discuss how many times a week would be enough for both of you, reach each other in the middle, and then start having that much s*x. Even if you’re not in the mood, you should have s*x, say couples experts. Once you get started, you’ll likely get excited and enjoy the s*x, even if you felt tired or disinterested earlier.
s*x is getting boring.
Problem – After couples have been together for a long time, their s*x life tends to ebb and flow. Every once in a while, things get downright boring. You fall into a routine and the s*x seems to always be the same old story.
Solution – Break out of your rut. Try something new. You don’t have to go crazy or anything. But you can change positions or try one you have never done before. Or you can spice things up with extra foreplay, s*x toys, s*xy lingerie, dirty talk, or a massage.
Even something as simple as a romantic dinner beforehand can make the s*x better. Communicating what you both want and how to make s*x more exciting can boost your s*x life all on its own.
One or both of you would rather not be naked.
Problem – s*x requires nudity, but people often lack self-confidence. Perhaps, after the wedding, one or both of you got a little bloated. Happiness sometimes help people put on the pounds. You might not want even your spouse to see you naked because you’re not happy with your body. Your lack of confidence prevents you from losing your inhibitions with your spouse and can get in the way of enjoying s*x. If you’re constantly thinking about your pudgy belly, you won’t enjoy the moment.
Solution – Get over yourself. That is the solution, but it’s never that easy. Instead, you should try to tell yourself that you’re beautiful, listen to your spouse who is undoubtedly telling you the same, and try to improve – without obsessing – whatever it is that is bothering you. If you’d like to get more fit and lose some flab, you and your spouse might take up exercise together. You’ll be healthier, feel better, and then the s*x will be twice as good.
My wife never reaches orgassm.
Problem – As most people are aware, women have a harder time reaching orgassm than men.
Sometimes, it just doesn’t happen. This can make the woman disappointed with s*x, while the man feels incompetent.
Solution – Sometimes, all it takes is a little extra attention to forplay and the woman’s needs. Additional romance and some extra hugging and kissing can do the trick in some cases. Still, even if she doesn’t orgassm, she still might enjoy the closeness and even rhythm of s*x. Remember practice makes perfect, so keep on practicing. You’ll get it eventually.
A Negative Body Image.
Body changes are inevitable in long-term relationships. We get pregnant and give birth. We age. We gain weight and lose our hair. Health problems and everyday stress also take their toll on the body. Our fitness levels go up and down. These changes can make couples self-conscious about their bodies, prompting them to cover up more and have sex less. To improve body image, couples should share a healthy lifestyle. As importantly, they should continue to compliment each other’s appearance and desirability. Beauty truly is in the eye of the beholder.
Ignoring the Connection between Emotional and Physical Intimacy.
The way a couple treats each other outside of the bedroom has a direct effect on the quality of their love life. Strengthen your relationship by improving communication, prioritizing couple time, making your partner feel appreciated, and approaching conflict with humility, an open-mind and a team-player mentality. Replace the criticism or contempt in your voice with a respectful, affectionate tone. Do the “little things” that you know will help your partner have a happier day. It’s your best bet for a hotter night.